I was talking to my best friend (since 4th grade!) Ariana on Skype the other day, and she had her almost 3 month old baby girl while I had my 7 month old baby boy. she was making dinner, Skypeing with me and entertaining her baby all at the same time. her little girl was on the floor, just looking around being as cool as a cucumber. I commented on how chill she was and how it seemed miraculous to me that she was able to even make dinner. I told her how Dean wants to be held A LOT and how he usually wants me to entertain him, even at his advanced baby age. she told me her little girl has been like that since day one.
at first, I was a little envious of her daughter's tranquility, ability to sleep through the night (still not happening over here), and the fact that she just lays her down to fall asleep (instead of the countless minutes of rocking we do). I lamented the fact that even in the hospital, Tom and I had to take turns holding Dean just so he was not screaming. I thought of how I had to throw my arm over one ear and cram the other full of pillow just to get some sleep while Tom held our seriously loud baby boy (sorry to whoever's room was next to us in the hospital).
but then, when i stopped to think about it, I love my little boy just the way he is. sure, he hasn't slept through the night yet (almost one time). at night, the only way he likes to sleep is to cuddle-sleep (I blame Tom because he, too, is a cuddle-bug). I had to use a breast shield while nursing him for the first 4 months of his life, and nursed him almost every 2 (daytime) hours until he started solids. the only way I could even think about cooking dinner was after Tom got home, so he could hold him. I had to carry that baby all the time and don't even get me started on how I'm the only person who can successfully rock him to sleep.
but, he is so sweet. he gives the best cuddles at night with the sweetest little angel face that I've ever seen. I love that he gets excited when he sees me and wiggles toward me as I come to pick him up. I love that we have no need for a baby monitor, even in my in-laws 2 story house. I love his smiles just for me, that he has learned to give me kisses, and that he sort-of-kind-of says 'mama.' I love that he knows what he wants and tells us when he's unhappy; it's never a mystery if he's hungry/tired/hurt/wanting-to-be-held. the best part of it all, is that it's only getting easier as he grows and develops. now, he eats like a champ (breast and solids). he smiles and giggles all the time (even over Skype). he's become much more independent and can sit and play long enough for me to do things.
I'm realizing that I love him all the more because he was (and is) so dependent on me.